I dont even know what to call this...

Once again, it has been about 2 months since my last post and it wasn't really a real post. Really. The past few days have really got me thinking. For quite a while now, I have been pretty ignorant. To politics, towards my education, and everything else you could possibly think of. Why? Because the world is ugly, nay, disgusting. The things people are capable of. Things like Rape, homicide, death by starvation or curable diseases, and muggings can be counted by the second. Looks like there is no hope for the human race... That we are going to destroy ourselves and every other organism unfortunate enough to be stuck on this balloon that by the looks of it, could pop at any time ,with us. Not to mention the hurt we cause to people who care about us. We lie, cheat, get divorced, find new loved ones (and if my inverted comma button was not broken, that would be in inverted commas) who are heartless to our kids and are only interested in our money, sex or both.

All this taken into account, we can not discount the more beautiful side of life. Love, the things you would do for that special someone, how you feel like you could do anything you wanted, and that all dreams come true ( As long as he/she loves you back that is, otherwise its like walking around with an ever growing hole in your chest.. ). Art, something I have a very limited understanding of. Music, performing arts, emotion, passion,humor, the list just goes on and on.

Does anyone else think it was an accident that we got this intelligent? Because if you look at every other life form known to man, their sole purpose is to reproduce. But human beings, contrary to what you people think, are not satisfied by just sex. We need a higher purpose, and refuse to believe that the only reason we are here is to make more of us and then die. Yeah, I feel extremely useful now. Which then brings me to the conclusion that we are simply here to enjoy ourselves. That our life is a gift and that we are meant to enjoy it. But wait, if that is true, what about those malnourished children in Africa slowly dying of starvation or AIDS? Is their life a gift too? How are they supposed to enjoy it? To them life is merely a sentence to be trapped in a prison of flesh to suffer immeasurable amounts of pain until, mercifully, they die. WHY ARE WE HERE!?

Sometimes I think about how easy it would be to have an instruction manual for life. It would make things a lot easier... Oh wait, hold on, there are instruction manuals for life. I will reserve my views of religion because I will probably end up insulting many.

What exactly are we looking for? Is it happiness? Enlightenment?

I am so confused right now.