Mellow Me

Ah, irony. Remember back in school, after the holidays your first English assignment would almost definitely be " what did you do during the holiday" and how you'd let out a groan and really not want to write about it? Well here I am writing about my holiday.

To be honest, I wasn't even meant to be going home in December. I was focused and gearing up to finish off my Australian ATPL theory exams. Reminiscing about life back then ( i.e a month and a half ago, seems like AGES ago typing about it now) things were quite different. I was more highly strung than a pulled back bow, my room was a mess and I hated everything(and at times everyone). I felt like everything was out to get me, I was tripping on every vine hidden in the undergrowth of the forest called life and I was PISSED OFF.

So there I was, angry, mentally exhausted, messy, frustrated and worried. Life was a Cessna 152 Aerobat spiraling out of control and I was behind the controls disoriented and throwing up. Until one afternoon when I get a phone call from my sister. For reasons I don't really want to mention on my blog, I immediately knew I had to go home. The tickets were booked for the week after and relief began to set in. I was going home! Back to the land of Nasi Lemak, old friends and of course mum's cooking.

I know, this isn't a very interesting post, but my point is, somewhere between between going to Thailand for a holiday , hanging out with old friends, regular family feuds and finding the guts to confess feelings I've had for someone for a while now, I've become more mellow. Even in stress inducing situations, I seem to be able to calmly deescalate the problem.Everything seems so much easier.


Sure, I there will be times when I'll be down on my luck and I'll feel like giving up but now, deep down inside I know I'll come out smiling in the end. " Things always work out in the end. If they haven't yet, its not the end"- I forgot who said that. A thought that brings great comfort to me in times of adversity.

I'm not sure what it is or why it has happened but I am thankful for it. I feel one step closer to ' Finding out what I'm really made of', and even though I see almost impenetrable storms in the skies of my life, I know that bruised and battered as I may get I will eventually power through.





Something has definitely changed.